Tuesday, March 21, 2006

RAKING it in ! Not yet but it's coming to a table near you.

Quick update on my break from poker. I'm back playing intermittently and really find that I’ve improved as a player in every aspect. Tilt still exists within and can do it's devilish damage but it's under control, hand reading skills have improved 10 fold and my luck is probably above average at the minute.

Mmm keep looking at the £25/50 10 seated NL on betfair it looks soooo juicy, however the odd multi and no more than 3 x 6-pacs a day for the moment. I say no more than 3 because I tend to find that more than 2hrs is too much at the poker table when focussing on a game. Multi’s I tend to not take notice too much of the table before the 1st couple of hours and music, TV etc are all good distractions.

At the minute Strictly (NO CASH) poker although I’m like an addict that thinks hey I’m clean I could play a bit of cash now I know I’m not ready yet; still e few creases to iron out. Losing 19k in a short period of time is a pisser but the manner in which it is lost is where I have learned a few things. Firstly, and undeniably even in the cold light of day I was on a miserable run of bad luck and bad cards (fact). However, secondly as a result I was not playing appropriate poker and one hand springs to mind which was the pinnacle of my tilty crap play.

Quick reflection coming:
I had witnessed dozens of premiums being busted and was pretty pissed to say the least, not alcohol BTW just playing pissed off (not good). I’m playing the 10/20 NL 10 seated cash and winning about £1500 so I have with my buy-in £3500 on the table and in late position I get dealt AA. Yes the best preflop starting hand possible, I remember when I got it thinking ooooh dear, anyway everyone folds round to ‘Rhaegar’ a Rock/solid player who frequents the Crypto tables who raises 4 x BB to £80. I feel I have to name the player here so that anyone who knows him will know what a Muppet play I made here. I smooth call and no other takers, see a flop 6 7 J Rhaegar bets £120 and I’m not messing here I re-raise to £240 to see where I am LOL. Rhaegar re-raises to £800 and I think SET SET SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET and proceed to re-raise all-in for all my stack – my AA will not be beat, it cant be beat, it’s lost too many times! Rhaegar calls with 6 7 and his 2 pair stand up as quick as I stand up to bang my head against the wall.

What have I learned from this and all the bad beats, A LOT. A lot about me in particular and a lot about poker which won’t be much to most but to me is a lot. I learned that OK I suffered terrible bad luck on occasion but had I not tilted the money I saved could have helped me earn it back. I lost 3k I didn’t need to here which is 1.5 buyin’s on 10/20 and if I add it all up I could have probably played through the bad run and came out on top like the top players do. Just an insight to my thinking here since having time out but obviously I could write forever with the amount of thinking I’ve been doing.

Back to now:
This blog has been a real reflection of my poker playing career and being able to look back on previous posts is a real eye opener and insight into the sometimes crazy view I have of events, especially when I was in 'Zombie' mode. In 'Zombie' mode I didn’t think it was tilt, it was everything else in my life the girlfriend, Kids, Dog, someone phoning me whilst in the middle of an important pots everyone but me basically. Playing like a twat was easy, it came natural. I looked for any reason I could to call instead of considering the opposite and well played like a twat. Also, I took the game serious and didn’t like the view one bit TY.

The only reason I have played the last couple of weeks is that a friend told me to check my account I may have some rake back and when I looked I had been credited with £300 so I though Ok I’ll have a dabble like the old days ‘bit of fun’ play. The account now has £3575 in it and I think Toshiwonka is back looking for some scalps!!!

The racehorse I bought MrToshiwonka 2yr old is doing really well and we have entered him for the £200,000 Super sprint @ Newbury in July so fingers crossed I’ll be in the winners enclosure with a bottle of the finest.

Good luck as always to anyone reading and be disciplined! LOOOOL

I would recommend a break to anyone feeling like the games against them it works wonders. I’ve lost a stone of poker weight as well. Only another 4 to go.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Just thought i'd drop you a line to say the Holiday is GREAT

The road to realisation is a long one and poker is definitely a long uneasy road???

As previously stated I decided to have a little break from my ‘recreational’ hobby ‘Online Poker’ and guess what?

I can’t bring myself to play at the minute I just don’t fancy a game I have better things to do. Can’t believe I’m saying this!


I know the answer and can feel myself rejuvenating every day…

I was no longer a recreational player who enjoyed playing ‘occasional’ £5/10 NL cash with a ‘few’ 6-pacs and the ‘odd’ multi. Nope, I’m afraid that I had become a poker robot who sat there day after day playing any 6-pac that would have me, jumping on cash chasing lost money and generally playing like a twat. Saying that, playing like a twat in 6-pacs usually sees you getting paid, in fact playing like a twat in any form usually sees you getting paid, ‘YOU’ being the word not ‘ME’ no matter how I played I lost or at least that’s how it felt.

Now I’ve heard through all channels Books/Forums common sense that when things aren’t going your way and emotions start to become a big part of your game i.e. tilt then take a break, have 5 minutes away a cup of tea a walk round the block… Maybe even a couple of weeks to chill that’s what true pro’s do. Nah, fekk that I want to put as many hours as possible in (i'm due a right winning streak) mentality cost me 20k of last years profits which was 25k. Obviously I have had my swings the other way so it feels like losing 50k but hey, ‘It’s only money’. The question is, do I just give my last 6k of hard earned money back to Betfair and any player lucky enough to join my table or do I hold on and take a break then use my profits to earn profits. You see I just said “It’s only money” but it’s much easier to say that when you’re in profit and it’s not your bread and butter, oh how I don’t envy the pros.

Little section on Pro’s… Top respect to the people that can handle being a pro and say they enjoy it. I believe I’ve had a taste of what it’s like to be a pro but in my case… I’ve had a taste of what it’s like to be an ‘unprofessional professional’ if that makes sense. The attributes required for this game not new to anyone I’m sure but ‘Immense Discipline’ will make a decent player a great player. If you’re not on the top of your game/life/emotions/environment etc. this game will eat you alive and spit you out like the saying.

“When the fox hears the rabbit screaming, he comes a running… But not to help”
Most poker players especially Pro’s don’t want your bad beat stories and don’t care, they want your money it’s not rocket science but you would think it if you seen some of the donators online.

I became a donator of late but didn’t believe I was. No way, I was so fekking unlucky I said to myself day in day out. It’s rigged was a good way to cope with an outdraw and blame everyone but me. I wont even mention that … OK just a little mention, I must admit I became fearful of AA preflop and one of the lads on Betfair said if you feel like that you need a break, I believed him and took a break.
The problem is that I have enjoyed my break so much I don’t even like poker anymore. Ok, I still want to play but just can’t bring myself to do so! it’s like I know I’m not ready yet and enjoying the learning experience. I was disappointed that I wasn’t blogging because it’s generally believed people don’t blog when they are losing but I have always been able to sit and type especially when doing my knackers.
I reckon it’s a big move in my poker playing life and a very positive one. You don’t stop learning when you are away from the tables in fact I think in certain circumstances you can learn more.

Here is something I believe to be true: Your subconscious mind as a poker player helps you along sometimes due to past experiences, it may detect betting patterns online or a facial expression when playing live and give you that gut feeling to make the right move – learned experience that you utilise to make you win even more…

Now don’t make the mistake of playing too much like me and burning yourself out. Because you’re bad play and bad reading of the game creeps in and infiltrates your subconscious mind so it learns incorrect behaviours and them good calls will all of a sudden become bad ones leaving you as confused as me…

Got to go see you soon at the tables