Monday, June 12, 2006

'ONLINE TILT' - With a Totally Topical Taste

Last night I made a bad play which I just wouldn't do live and it proved to me that I possess a lack of respect for the online game that needs addressing before it starts costing me Big Style. In fact forget what I just said I’ll start again; it’s already cost me it’s cost me a lot and more than money could ever cost me I need to add. It’s cost me emotionally, I am officially on tilt, and this tilt is new this tilt is ‘ONLINE TILT’. With a totally topical taste.

Now not wanting to sound contradictory but I am a profitable player! Or should I say a player that’s in profit? However, here comes hard fact number 1! It won’t last forever at the rate I’m going. The amount of hours spent playing online poker, although mostly an enjoyable learning process is what can only be described as in the majority of a ‘waste of time and predominantly, not much effort’. For a game that can suck you in and spit you out with no remorse or conscience my ‘online game’ is a recipe for disaster and there won’t be any shoulders to cry on.

Today I am like the Alcoholic that has had his moment of clarity, it is all totally clear to me now and I can’t believe how long I have got away with this ‘Self delusion’. If I want to become a truly ‘good’ no fekkit I speak my mind on here ‘GREAT’ player I have to start from the basics and stop deluding myself that I’m a good online player, I am not I am shite. Now I’ve made my admission of shittiness where do I go from here is the big question.

First and foremost I have no ‘Respect’ for the games I am choosing to play so how can I expect to win them. I stopped playing a while back because I realised I was just being a Zombie until I spotted £300 rake back in my Betfair Account. What did I do, I played a few 6-pacs and won about 7k sterling only to give it back with a cherry on top. Yesterday I noticed £377 credited again so I decided to blow that as well just for good measure. Good aren’t I?

Typical play in a £200 six-Pac I am on the button with AA blinds at 25/50 and 3 players limp into the pot for 50 chips I make it 200 to go all fold to late limper who flat calls. Flop Q 3 8 and late limpfish bets 200 so I re-raise half my stack he goes ‘ALL-IN’ I have to call but consider myself possibly behind. He has Q 9 offsuit to my delight and I shake my head in disbelief as he spikes a 9 on the river to bust me out yet again. OK before the thought goes through your head let me stop you right here. We want people like this in the games, long term they are losers we are winners blah blah etc. But who can I blame for this bad luck the Rig? The bad player? Or poor me the unlucky fekker on the end of these torrential floods of beats that have whipped me up into Discombobulating proportions. (I love that word) it means confused btw.

I have to blame myself because I am singling these beats out and tilting as a result. Trying to get my chips in from behind is an art I’m trying to perfect and whilst tilting it is much easier. So what have I been doing wrong ah yes back to the point, I have no respect for the ‘online games’ I take them for granted and they mean nothing to me.

I am on ‘Online Tilt’ and I require a break. I wonder if anyone can relate to ‘Online Tilt’ but believe me it exists it is very dark very ruthless and very REAL.

As previously mentioned I am in love with the psychology of the game and all the emotional control required whilst playing is a true test of mental stamina. ‘Live’ play I possess a game and I have the ability to avoid tilt and control my emotions whilst trying to analyse other peoples. When I go to a ‘Live’ tournament I make sure that it means something, that there is something rewarding to play for and I go home after them and analyse my play, my decision making, my image etc. it’s all a buzz for me. Online I take the tournaments for granted I show them no respect and as a result I get punished for making bad decisions. When I make correct ones the beats seem Mountainous to me and I could post them onto the forum where they are of pale insignificance to anyone else. Normally I post then wish I hadn’t but I have to tell someone how fekking unlucky I am even if it’s just the universe that’s listening, someone has to know.

The cure for me is to play more ‘live’ events I still love the game and I have this burning passion to become a force on the poker circuit. ‘ONLINE TILT’ has been diagnosed and I need corrective measures implementing to help in the healing process. I keep saying to myself I want to write an article on TILT and its effects so maybe spend some time looking inwards and reflection is part of the therapy required.

I feel better already so thanks for listening and beware – there is a ‘GOOD’ no ‘GREAT’ poker player in here - he just hasn’t come out …YET…

Oh back to the beginning where I made my mind up I was on ‘ONLINE TILT’. Sunday 50k GTD on Betfair. I raised in EP with 10 10 blinds at 50/100 to 300 nursing a 2.3k stack and a player called BillyFish flat calls EP everyone else folds and a flop of 6 8 9 rainbow comes. I have an overpair plus a Gutshot draw but I also know BillyFish is an aspiring poker player and I lead out with a near pot sized bet which BillyFish calls the turn is a rag card. I think I’m behind here to a premium maybe AA KK and I’m toying with checking but decide to bet half my stack and basically commit myself to the pot. BillyFish goes all-in and I call he has 88 for a flopped set and I go and load a few six-pacs up whilst getting slaughtered on the wine.

I send a text message to Mat Tyler a very good tournament player ranked 7th or 8th in Europe “I would get away from that live”. He sends back “yes me too” but not online. My decision was made from that moment. Maybe we all suffer from . . .


I must finish by apologising to Mandylou who after speaking with the other day and listening to some valuable advice I might add says that my blog is “all doom & gloom” of late. Bit of a shock that because I thought I’d brightened since my losing 8k pots pished up LOL; anyway carrying on…

Get yer Prozac out chaps if you feel like a lift anytime read my blog…

(Just bought a private Number for my Quad with the money saved LOL)

T1LT x